Intentional Growth: Doing Hard Things

Purposeful Resilience: Doing Things That Hurt

My young daughter recently inspired me, as she frequently does..  She has been interested in getting her ears pierced for several months.  During several trips to the mall she would excitedly shift from “I’m ready” while skipping along toward Claire’s, to stopping firmly in her tracks as soon as the store came within view.  

From Dreams to Doubt

This is such a perfect example of what happens when we give ourselves a chance to dream big or take a chance. We feel a small spark within us;  motivation, awe, inspiration and excitement send us happily skipping toward our goal.  Then kablam!  Fear, indecision, and self-doubt cause us to come to an abrupt stop.  This flood of emotion often results in that little spark fizzling into nothing, being drenched by a flood of complaints from our inner-critic.  Many find themselves caught in a downward spiral of self-pity, judgment, and frustration, assuming that there's an inherent flaw in experiencing fear.  “I’m feeling afraid so I must be weak, incapable, a failure….,” (fill in your criticism of choice).  Friends, this is not a fun place to be. Without the benefits of thought-awareness and mindset work, many can stay in this place of indecision and self-loathing. Not only does your goal (and your remarkable genius) stay unrealized, but the self-judgment keeps you in a place of resisting any further attempts at growth.    

Empowering Journey

Acknowledging fear and self-doubt are completely normal parts of growth will empower you to shift this path away from the inner-critic.  Recognizing that our human brains are wired for caution and hesitation in the face of unnecessary risk will normalize the fear and allow you to skip the self-judgment.  There is nothing inherently wrong with you.  Doubt and fear are a normal part of the path to growth.  As I work with clients who are pursuing new goals I often reassure them “if you’re not nauseous and nervous, you’re not doing it right!”  Let’s drop the self-criticism and do hard things on purpose.

So, my friends, I challenge you to “do something hard on purpose.”  Put yourself in the position to feel the fear of failure and face the self-doubt.  Choose something that you know will feel hard and scary, and allow yourself to be amazed at your ability to experience the fear and come out stronger for it. Walk toward that piercing chair in Claire’s, embracing the uncertainty of what may come next, knowing that each step is taking you closer to your goal.  Maybe you’ve been considering a commitment to a new fitness or diet goal.  Maybe you’re challenging yourself to foster deeper connections and vulnerability within your relationships.  Maybe you’re learning a new way of managing your time and mindset in the "Reclaim Your Day" program.  Or maybe you’re committed to embracing some self-love and compassion as you explore who you really want to become.  

Thriving Through Purposeful Challenges

Regardless of what feels hard to you, I invite you to embrace that little flicker.  Do the hard thing and feel all the feels that come with becoming an even better version of yourself.  Skip toward Claire’s, along WITH the fear and hesitation, and walk out with pink gemstones in your newly pierced ears and sparkly unicorn earrings burning holes in your pockets.

I am so proud of my sweet little girl for understanding fear and hesitation is normal and that sometimes we need to do scary things [on purpose] to achieve our goals.

She knew she wanted the final result of sparkly unicorns in her ears, and she also knew reaching that goal would come with fear, pain, and the unknown.  Now, what do YOU want?