Do you ever stay stuck in “I don’t know?”
Telling yourself “I don’t know” is an immediate door closer. It causes your mind to stop: “Well, I just don’t know so I can’t…...”
The problem with “I don’t know” thinking is that even though it seems like we’ve moved past the issue, our mind stays stuck. Our mind still wants to solve the problem, but the ”I don’t know” thought has shut that possibility down. We might think we’ve moved forward by acknowledging that we simply don't know, but in reality we stay stuck and end up spiraling in a feeling of dissatisfaction and lacking. Here’s a simple example.
I’ve recently been entering the world of travel hacking. I’m learning to take advantage of credit cards points/miles and frequent flyer benefits. As I was setting up all of our accounts, I realized I wanted to get credit for the miles my children fly as well. To set up an account for my kids, some of the airlines require a separate unique email address to create accounts for children, and my kids do not have their own email addresses. My brain stopped. “But the kids don’t have email addresses of their own, I don’t know what to do!” I started lamenting the lost frequent flyer miles and the unfairness of the policies requiring unique email logins. I noticed the thought “why does everything have to be so hard.” I noticed the urge to throw my hands in the air in defeat.
These types of thoughts kept me stuck. Stuck in “I don’t know.” Stuck in non-action. “Oh well, I don’t have separate email accounts for the kids so I don’t know how to get this to work. [shoulder shrug] I guess that’s just that.” Door shut.
So here’s the kicker. If we don’t realize these thoughts coming up, if we do not have AWARENESS of what is happening, we stay here: stuck. We think “this is just how it is.” BUT look what happens when we change just one of those thoughts. Let’s take “Why does everything have to be so hard?” and shift it to “This might be easy.” My brain immediately started thinking of ways this could be easy. I could actually create the email accounts for them, I could use my alternate email account that I use for spammy stuff for one of them. I realized I cannot possibly be the only “victim” of this scenario, there must be some other parents out there who get miles for their children’s flights. So I googled, and within 2 minutes had a solution to the email issue and happily logged their travel miles with their own frequent flyer accounts. TWO MINUTES.
Had I not changed that one thought, my brain would have stayed shut down. That door would have stayed closed and the shoulder shrug would have kept me stuck. BUT being aware of my thoughts, and making a small adjustment allowed my brain to take action, actually solve the problem, and move on feeling quite satisfied with what I accomplished.
This low-stakes example is only frequent flyer miles. Think about more significant “I don’t knows” in your life: how to find the ideal partner, how to support your child through a challenge, how to create a career you love, how to feel confident about retirement. Just imagine all the places a similar thought shift could serve you. Imagine what doors you could open.
Where are you shrugging your shoulders? Where are you staying stuck? Comment below.
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