Owning compassion
Think about someone you believe in; someone you love and support no matter what. Maybe it’s your child or even your sibling; maybe it’s your mentor or your best friend. The person who comes to you with tears in their eyes feeling regret and frustration over a choice they made, who you lovingly respond to saying “you did your best, you can learn from this and move on.”
You tell them mistakes are part of growing. You hold space for their disappointment then help them move toward regaining their confidence. You might even help re-frame their “mistake” to a less judgmental description. You would explain they made a choice (versus mistake), and they made that choice with the information available at that time. They’re doing their best, you’re there to support them, and you have their back. You treat them with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, you inspire them to keep moving forward.
Now imagine doing all of that for yourself. Imaging having your OWN back. Making choices with confidence, knowing that if the future reveals the decision was a mistake, you’ll be there reminding yourself you made the best choice at that time with what you had available. We are always in flux, we have different levels of insight, understanding, patience, and ability to process information. Even with the same information, a choice may be made differently depending on our mood, which is also ever-changing. With any given decision, many factors play into our decision making strategy. When we look back and judge or criticize a decision we made in past whilst basking in the knowledge of the result that has occurred, we are expecting our past-selves to have used information that simply did not exist at the time. It’s really quite absurd. And not helpful. And does not inspire us to keep making decisions from a place of confidence. So let’s stop. Now.
Have your own damn back
What if you knew, without a doubt, that you’d give yourself the benefit of the doubt if things go sour? That you’d have your own damn back, you’d know that you did your best with the information you had available at that time. How much time and head-space could you free up if you made decisions from a place of knowing you’ll be there to support yourself in the future, regardless of the outcome? Spoiler alert….a LOT. Your ability to create amazing things, to be more present with your family, to plan more efficiently, to rest more fully….all of these things are possible.
When you have your own back, you develop a sense of self-reliance and independence. You trust your instincts, make decisions that align with your values, and take action to pursue your goals and dreams. You’re not spending time worrying about how you’ll treat yourself if things don’t work out, and you’re not spending time worrying about what others will think of your choices. When you believe in yourself and your ability to make decisions, you become more resilient to external criticism and less reliant on validation from others. You trust in your own judgment and capabilities, allowing you to navigate obstacles and setbacks with determination and perseverance. Ultimately, having your own back empowers you to take control of your life, embrace opportunities, and create the future you desire. So let’s go! Why not now?
Want more help learning how to make decisions with confidence and have your own damn back? Click below to schedule a discovery call.
This is such a simple, yet powerful idea. Lately I’ve been working through challenging thoughts and fears with the reminder that “I’m the kind of person that _____”. That plans. That stays positive. That finds the best in situations. That adapts. Grounding myself in these reminders allows me to truly have my own back, since (although my as my crazy brain likes to try to convince me otherwise sometimes) I’m still going to be that kind of person when times get tough or my life changes, because it’s who I am.